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Just to clarify:

Download the Alexa app to your phone.

Set up Alexa account for your Echo devices on the internet and on your phone.

Set up Alexa account (if your relative doesn't have an Amazon account, you'll need to set that up too) for your relative's device on the internet and on your phone.

On your phone, launch the Alexa app.

Enable calling and messaging on both accounts - you'll have to sign in to one, make the configuration settings, then sign into the other. You can do remotely in your relative's behalf, you don't need to be near the device.

It does seem to take some time for settings on the phone to relay to the device. Be patient and it should catch up.